shitdickfuckmothafucka:

omgbuglen:

A warning to anybody thinking about getting a husky


You can build yourself a third husky

shitdickfuckmothafucka:

omgbuglen:

A warning to anybody thinking about getting a husky

You can build yourself a third husky

121,426 notes

spermbanker:

i met this pretty lady today who likes to sleep in plants

66,070 notes

kitteningrayspaces:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

ohgodhesloose:

*boop* *bap*

"I TOUCH YOUR BUTT"
“WHAT NO”

This made me giggle far too much

kitteningrayspaces:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

ohgodhesloose:

*boop* *bap*

"I TOUCH YOUR BUTT"

WHAT NO

This made me giggle far too much

(Source: catleecious)

138,893 notes

gnarly:

When you go to someones house for the first time and you sit there like

image

263,664 notes

swag-canada:

he’s the one they warn us about in math problems 

swag-canada:

he’s the one they warn us about in math problems 

(Source: meme-face1)

214,353 notes

Still.

ithurtssomuch:

Do your worst,
I promise
you will never be able to
take me down.
Push.
Hit.
Kick.
I will still stand
right here.
I will still fight
for what’s right.

Do your worst,
I promise
your words mean nothing
to me.
Scream.
Yell.
Insult.
I will still keep
my head up.
Be myself,
be proud.

Do you worst,
I promise
I still won’t disappear.

View On WordPress

46 notes

uraltalk:

narrative #14 by k.f. (me)
9-15-2014

uraltalk:

narrative #14 by k.f. (me)

9-15-2014

50 notes

  • Villain: So even though you're making me the bad guy in book one, you're eventually going to redeem me so I can get the girl, right?
  • Me: No, you're the villain. Deal with it.
  • Villain: But everything you do to make me horribly evil also makes me weirdly charming. That means redemption, yes?
  • Me: Nope.
  • Villain. *smiles charmingly*
  • Me: Dammit.
  • True story.

30 notes

I’m trying to be the person my future self would be proud of.
Michael Daaboul (via michaeldaaboul)

63 notes

one time I dated a mechanic
because my mom dented her fender bender
and I had nowhere better to go
and the way he fumbled with the brim of his hat
made me want to take it off his head
and claim it as my own.
one time I dated a mechanic
and I joked that he loved his job
more than he loved me,
and he said that while putting vehicles together was great
he preferred putting together the freckles on my shoulders
and drawing constellations in the empty space.
one time I dated a mechanic
and his room had ripped jeans with grease
slung over a chair
and I’d never felt more at home.
one time I dated a mechanic
and his callouses were rougher
than the wall he tried to put up around himself
and when they found my hips late at night
the friction felt like fire
engulfing everything I used to be.
one time I dated a mechanic
and I tripped over his toolbox
the same day I found out
he’s as good with a bandaid
as he is with a wrench.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he always carried a cloth in his back pocket
that was just the right size for wiping off sweat
or drying tears.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he didn’t get why some days I couldn’t get
out of bed
because he wasn’t used to fixing things
that didn’t have wires and buttons.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he started to doubt that he was any good at his job
because I would stare at the wall for hours on end
and he couldn’t just oil my joints to get me to turn around.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he begged me to say something
but I couldn’t open my mouth
for fear of ungluing myself
because I didn’t think he deserved
to see someone that could look like a puzzle
with a couple pieces missing.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he started skipping his appointments
because my rusty soul
was more important to him than a
rusty interior.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he took me to the park
and made sandwiches that got smushed
underneath the apples he picked just for me
(because lord knows I only eat red ones)
and my smile felt like an old friend.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he made me a drawing
of the two of us at the beach
with a piece of charcoal he found in his pocket
and I hung it on my bedroom ceiling
so it would be the first thing I saw every morning.
one time I dated a mechanic
and he remembered how often someone had to
get their oil changed
and he remembered how to
rotate a tire
and he remembered that when I was seventeen
I was so afraid to love that I seriously doubted
I’d ever find it.
one time I dated a mechanic
that changed my mind.
a mechanic taught me how to love, cgc (via dearyesterdays)

56 notes